You only have to look closely at the picture of Ronnie Wood to see what they’re in for.
He’s not only dyed his hair, he’s also dyed his eyebrows.
Male buttocks over 50 are like dodos - they just don’t exist.
And, as one of my young friends revealed over dinner after her affair with a 65-year-old, the sex can be a nightmare.
Alfie subjects himself to fake tans and endless gym sessions, wears teenage clothes and watches his bank account dwindle due to her excesses.
They insist they’ve had a stroke or a heart attack when it’s just heartburn from eating too much.
They fret about their receding hairline and their ever-expanding waistlines.
We’ve long become accustomed to the sight of fabulously wealthy and famous older men dating younger women, but when the age gap reaches more than 30 years, you have to wonder what the women can be thinking.
Not that there is any shortage of much younger women keen to go to bed with these gnarled old codgers.
Monty Python’s John Cleese, 72 years old, is in a relationship with 41-year-old Jennifer Wade; Charles Dance dated 25-year-old Sophia Myles when he was 58; 80-year-old Des O’Connor’s wife is 43-year-old Jodie Brooke Wilson.